The Rhinoceros Party (), officially the Parti Rhinocéros Party, is a Canadian federal political party. It originally existed from 1963 to 1993. It was refounded in Montreal on May 21, 2006, and was registered with Elections Canada on August 23, 2007. It was known as neorhino.ca from 2007 to 2010, when the party changed its name and logo.
The 2006 incarnation was founded by François "Yo" Gourd, who was involved with the original incarnation of the Rhinoceros Party. He has said that he named the new party (then under the name "neorhino") after the Rhinoceros Party and Neo, the Matrix character. From 2014 until 2024, the party was led by Sébastien Côrriveau (who used the names "Sébastien CôRhino Côrriveau" and "Sébastien CoRhino" when running in the 2015 and 2019 federal elections, respectively). It promises, like its predecessor, not to keep any of its promises if elected.
Rhinoceros Party of Canada (1963–1993)
The Rhinoceros Party () was a registered political party in Canada from the 1960s to the 1990s. Operating within the tradition of political satire, the Rhinoceros Party's basic credo, their so-called primal promise, was "a promise to keep none of our promises". They then promised outlandishly impossible schemes designed to amuse and entertain the voting public.
The Rhinos were started in 1963 by Jacques Ferron, "Éminence de la Grande Corne du parti Rhinocéros". In the 1970s, a group of artists joined the party and created a comedic political platform to contest the federal election. Ferron (1979), poet Gaston Miron (1972), and singer Michel Rivard (1980) ran against Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau in his Montreal seat.
The Rhinos claimed to be the spiritual descendants of Cacareco, a Brazilian rhinoceros who was "elected" member of São Paulo's city council in 1958. The party listed Cornelius the First, a rhinoceros from the Granby Zoo, east of Montreal, as its leader. It declared that the rhinoceros was an appropriate symbol for a political party since politicians, by nature, are "thick-skinned, slow-moving, dim-witted, can move fast as hell when in danger, and have large, hairy horns growing out of the middle of their faces".
Some members of the Rhino party would call themselves Marxist-Lennonist, a parody of the factional split between the Communist Party of Canada and the Communist Party of Canada (Marxist-Leninist); however, the Rhinoceros Party meant the term in reference to Groucho Marx and John Lennon.There is a 1969 comedy record by The Firesign Theatre troupe popularly known as "All Hail Marx and Lennon" which makes the same joke.
The party used as its logo a woodcut of a rhinoceros by Albrecht Dürer, with the words D'une mare à l'autre (a French translation of Canada's Latin motto a mari usque ad mare (from sea to sea), playing on the word mare, which means pond in French) at the top.
Policies and politics
In addition to the national platform promises released by the party leadership, individual candidates also had considerable freedom to campaign on their own ideas and slogans. Bryan Gold of the Rhinoceros Party described the party platform as two feet high and made of wood: "My platform is the one I'm standing on". A candidate named Ted "Not Too" Sharp ran in Flora MacDonald's Kingston and the Islands riding. He also took a stand on abortion (promising, if elected, never to have an abortion) and capital punishment: "If it was good enough for my grandfather, then it's good enough for me". To strengthen Canada's military, Sharp planned to tow Antarctica north to the Arctic Circle: "Once we have Antarctica, we'll control all of the world's cold. If another Cold War starts, we'll be unbeatable".
In the 1988 election, the Rhinoceros Party ran a candidate named John Turner in the same riding as Liberal leader John Turner; the party received 760 votes. Penny Hoar, a safe sex activist, distributed condoms in Toronto while running under the slogan: "Politicians screw you—protect yourself".
1979 campaign Government: The Queen of Canada would be seated in Buckingham, Quebec. Rather than awarding money as prizes in the lottery, the winners would be appointed to the Senate of Canada. Rather than patriate the constitution by bringing it to Canada, as proposed by Pierre Trudeau, the Rhinoceros Party pledged to bring Great Britain home and make it Canada's eleventh province. Energy: Building one nuclear power plant per household, including monthly distributions of lead underwear to Canadians. Indoor lighting would then be provided by radioactive citizens. Burning all the standing barns in Canada to provide energy, under the slogan Burn a barn for Britain. Sexual Equality: Alimony payments would go directly to the federal government, and responsibility for withholding those payments would fall upon the federal government. Men would be allowed to work as prostitutes, wet nurses, secretaries and receptionists.
1984 campaign Economy The Rhinoceros Party pledged to eliminate small businesses, and replace them with very small businesses, having less than one employee. Candidate Graham Ashley, standing in Ottawa-Vanier, pledged to take Canada off the gold standard, and implement a Snow Standard, which would improve the economy until the summer. Public works Candidate Stardust the Magician promised to put a roof on the Olympic Stadium, using only a $25-million handkerchief.
Other campaigns Other platform promises of the Rhinoceros Party included: Repealing the law of gravity Providing higher education by building taller schools Instituting English, French and illiteracy as Canada's three official languages Tearing down the Rocky Mountains so that Albertans could see the Pacific sunset Eliminating unemployment by abolishing Statistics Canada, thereby eliminating the bureaucrats that measure unemployment. Making Montreal the Venice of North America by damming the St. Lawrence River Abolishing the environment because it's too hard to keep clean and it takes up so much space Annexing the United States, which would take its place as the third territory in Canada's backyard (after the Yukon and the Northwest Territories—Nunavut did not yet exist), in order to eliminate foreign control of Canada's natural resources Ending crime by abolishing all laws To provide more parking in the Maritimes by paving the Bay of Fundy, and to create the world's largest parking by paving the province of Manitoba Turning Montreal's Saint Catherine Street into the world's longest bowling alley Amending Canada's Freedom of Information Act: "Nothing is free anymore; Canadians should have to pay for their information". Making the Canadian climate more temperate by tapping into the natural resource of hot air in Ottawa. Storing nuclear waste in the Senate: "After all, we've been storing political waste there for years". Adopting the British system of driving on the left; this was to be gradually phased in over five years with large trucks and tractors first, then buses, eventually including small cars, and bicycles and wheelchairs last. Selling the Senate of Canada at an antique auction in CaliforniaFrom the campaign literature of Judi Skuce, candidate for The Beaches, in the 1979 election. Putting the national debt on Visa Declaring war on Belgium because a Belgian cartoon character, Tintin, killed a rhinoceros in one of the cartoons Offering to call off the proposed Belgium-Canada war if Belgium delivered a case of mussels and a case of Belgian beer to Rhinoceros "Hindquarters" in Montreal (the Belgian Embassy in Ottawa did, in fact, do this) Painting Canada's coastal sea limits in watercolour so that Canadian fish would know where they were at all times Banning guns and butter, since both kill Banning lousy Canadian winters Building a bridge spanning the country, from Vancouver Island to Newfoundland.Dr. Robinson, Introductory Canadian Politics Making the Trans-Canada Highway one way only. Changing Canada's currency to bubble gum, so it could be inflated or deflated at will. Donating a free rhinoceros to every aspiring artist in Canada Counting the Thousand Islands to see if the Americans have stolen any Knocking down the Rocky Mountains and building giant bicycle paths sloping downhill in both directions, so Canadians could coast from coast to coast.The Globe and Mail: Retrieved on 13 October 2020
The Rhino Party also declared that, should they somehow actually win an election, they would immediately dissolve and force a second election: "We Rhinos think that elections are so much fun, we want to hold them all the time". They also declared victory after one election, claiming all candidates were Rhinoceroses, whether they knew or acknowledged it: thick-skinned, short-sighted, mean-tempered, etc.
Notable candidates Michel Rivard once went on television (during free air time given to political parties) and stated: "I have but two things to say to you: Celery and Sidewalk. Thank you, good night".
A British Columbia splinter group proposed running a professional dominatrix for the position of party whip, renaming "British Columbia" to "La La Land", moving the provincial capital, and merging with the Progressive Conservative Party so as "not to split the silly vote".
Although not recognized in the United States, former baseball pitcher Bill Lee ran for President of the United States in 1988 on the Rhinoceros Party ticket.
In the 2019 Canadian federal election, the Rhinoceros Party ran a candidate named Maxime Bernier in the riding of Beauce against the incumbent, Maxime Bernier, leader of the People's Party of Canada. Neither candidate won, with both being defeated by Conservative Party candidate Richard Lehoux. Rhino candidate Bernier managed 1,084 votes. Even if all of these had gone to incumbent Bernier, who managed 16,796 votes, it still would not have been enough to change the result. Lehoux received 22,860 votes.
Electoral record The Rhinoceros Party never succeeded in winning a seat in the House of Commons. In the 1984 federal election, however, the party won the fourth-largest number of votes, after the three main political parties, but ahead of several well-established minor parties. Rhino candidates sometimes came in second in certain ridings, humiliating traditional Canadian parties in the process. In the 1980 federal election, for instance, the Rhinoceros party nominated a professional clown/comedian named Sonia "Chatouille" Côté ("chatouille" means "Tickles" in French) in the Laurier riding in Montréal. Côté came in second place, after the successful Liberal candidate, but ahead of both other major parties: the third place New Democrat, and the fourth-place Progressive Conservative candidate. Chatouille received almost twice as many votes as the PC candidate.
Early in the party's history, when it was mainly composed of French-speaking Québécois, they chose their only unilingual anglophone party member as their official translator.
Electoral results Election # of candidates nominated # of seats won # of total votes % of popular vote % of vote in ridings contested 1965 1968 1972 (1) 1979 1980 1984 1988
Note:
(1) The Rhinoceros Party ran 12 candidates in the 1972 election, but was not recognized as a registered party by Elections Canada; therefore, its candidates were listed as independents. (Source: Toronto Star, October 31, 1972.)
1993 abstention and subsequent dissolution