Negiah (),Earlier sources do not use the word "negiah", but use the word "k'reiva" (coming near) or one of its grammatical variations. See, e.g. Sefer Mitzvos Gadol 126; Rambam Issurei Biah 21:1. literally "touch", is the concept in Jewish law (Halakha) that forbids or restricts sensual physical contact with a member of the opposite sex except for one's spouse and certain close relatives to whom one is presumed not to have sexual attraction. A person who abides by this halakha is colloquially described as a ("one observant of ").
The laws of are typically followed by strict Orthodox Jews, with varying levels of observance. Some Orthodox Jews follow the laws with strict modesty and take measures to avoid accidental contact, such as avoiding sitting next to a member of the opposite sex on a bus, train, airplane, or other similar seating situations. Others are more lenient, only avoiding purposeful contact. Adherents of Conservative and Reform Judaism do not follow these laws. Many Jews with Orthodox beliefs believe that there is extensive room for leniency and that strict adherence to these rules stunts development and prevents social success and ultimately undermines well-being. Others understand the rules as clearly referring to sensual touch.
Biblical prohibition and subsequent exegesis The prohibition of is derived from two verses in Leviticus: "Any man shall not approach ( ) his close relative to uncover nakedness; I am God" (18:6), and: "You shall not approach a woman in her time of unclean separation, to uncover her nakedness" (18:19).Translation follows the Stone Edition of the Chumash (Mesorah Publications 1993). The first verse refers to incest, the second to sexual relations with a woman who is in niddah status due to menstruation. Although the verses speak in the masculine gender, women are equally bound by these commandments.Sifra (Aharei Mot 13:2) concludes, based on the plural language "you [plural] shall not approach, that these laws apply equally to men and women: "לא תקרבו" מה תלמוד לומר? לפי שנאמר "איש איש", שיכול אין לי אלא איש ממש שמוזהר על ידי אשה. אשה מוזהרת על ידי איש מנין? תלמוד לומר "לא תקרבו"- הרי כאן שנים. See also Mishna Kiddushin 29a, and Rambam Hilchos Avodas Kochavim 12:3 (stating that women are obligated in all negative commandments, with only three exceptions, not pertinent here). See also Rashi to Leviticus 18:6, who states explicitly that women are bound by the commandment found in that verse.
The Sifra notes that these verses prohibit a man to "approach... to uncover nakedness", rather than simply prohibiting the "uncovering of nakedness", implying a separate prohibition of "approaching" even without sexual intercourse.Sifra (Aharei Mot 13:2) "ואל אשה בנדת טומאתה לא תקרב לגלות ערותה"-- אין לי אלא שלא יגלה, מנין שלא יקרב? תלמוד לומר "לא תקרב". אין לי אלא נדה בל תקרב בל תגלה, מנין לכל העריות בל תקרבו בל תגלו? תלמוד לומר (ויקרא יח, ו) "לא תקרבו לגלות". Based on this, some Rishonim view these verses as also prohibiting sexual touch (such as hugging and kissing) which falls short of sexual intercourse, including MaimonidesHilchos Issurei Biah 21:1, Sefer Hamitzvot negative commandment #353 and the Semag,Sefer Mitzvos Gadol 126 who note the consideration of whether the contact is done (דרך [חבה ו]תאוה) in a[n affectionate or] lustful manner. However Nachmanides considers the prohibition to be a rabbinic law not derived from scripture, and views the derivation from Leviticus 18:6 as an (a rabbinic prohibition with a biblical allusion) and not true exegesis.Nachmanides Hasagos to Sefer HaMitzvos, Negative Commandment 353
Applicable individuals
The same actions are forbidden with a and with a forbidden close relative.See Sifra Acharei Mot (13,2), cited in Sefer Mitzvos Gadol 126 and Shiurei Shevet HaLeivi p.1; see also Tractate Sabbath 13a (stating that the same acts that may not be done with someone else's wife [or any other of the arayot], such as sleeping in the same bed, may not be done with a woman in niddah status). During the niddah period, even non-affectionate touch between husband and wife is forbidden;Yoreh Deah 195:2 and Badei HaShulchan at 14 however this is commonly referred to as a (, "distancing") rather than a case of being .
The laws do not prohibit touching certain close relatives to whom one is expected not to have sexual attraction: children, siblings,Siblings should avoid forbidden physical contact (defined below) where both have reached puberty. Halichos Bas Yisrael vol. 1, 7:20 (p. 110 note 31); see Tractate Sabbath 13a; Rambam Hilchos Issurei Biah 21:6 and Magid Mishna; Even HaEzer 21:7 and Chelkas M'Chokek 8. According to Rambam and Shulchan Aruch, this is, at most, a Rabbinic prohibition. See Otzar HaPoskim Even HaEzer 21:51. grandchildren,With regard to grandchildren, the term used by the poskim (halakhic authorities) is (Hebrew "his daughter's daughter"). However, this is assumed by most authorities to include all grandchildren. See Halichos Bas Yisrael, cited above; see also Otzar HaPoskim Even HaEzer 21:52, paragraph #2. [The Poskim do not appear to explicitly discuss great-grandparents and great-grandchildren. However, the Hebrew term for grandchildren (B'nei Banim) can also be more broadly interpreted to mean direct descendants, no matter how many generations apart]. parents, and grandparents.Even HaEzer 21:7 and Beis Shmuel 14; Halichos Bas Yisrael by Rav Yitzchak Yaakov Fuchs, vol. 1 p. 108-109 (English edition, Targum Press 1985). Opinions differ on whether one may touch an adopted child of the opposite sex: R' Eliezer WaldenbergTzitz Eliezer 6:40 and R' Hayim David HaLeviShu"t Aseh Lecha Rav 3:39 permit, while R' Menachem Mendel Schneerson prohibits. Other authorities offer limited or conditional permission.
Forms of touch forbidden Maimonides and the Shulchan Aruch formulate this prohibition as "hugging, kissing, or enjoying close physical contact".Hebrew "chibbuk venishuk veneheneh bekiruv basar". Mishneh Torah Hilchos Issurei Biah 21:1, Shulchan Aruch Even HaEzer 20:1, as explained by Be'er Heitev 2. They do not indicate that mere touching is forbidden.
Jonah of Gerona wrote that "any closeness of flesh is forbidden, for example touching [] the hands of a married woman".Shaarei Teshuvah 3:80
Regarding the question of whether all affectionate contact is forbidden, or only lustful sexual contact, R' Aharon Lichtenstein ruled that even non-sexual affectionate contact is forbidden. However, R' Yehudah Henkin ruled that only sexual contact is forbidden, at least according to Biblical law.
Incidental, unintended touch is permitted, for example when riding a crowded bus or train.
According to Rabbi Moshe Feinstein,Igros Moshe 1959, Orach Chayim, 1:Q113, Even HaEzer 1:Q56, 2:Q14, 4:Q32. All four responsa have been republished at HebrewBooks.org. there are two separate laws underlying the concept of . The first law is the prohibition against close contact with forbidden women. Because females above the age of 11 are presumed to have begun menstruation,Igros Moshe, Orach Chayim, 1:Q26. The responsum's full text begins on this page. the prohibition extends to all females above that age.Physical contact with a woman in niddah status is forbidden whether or not the man and woman are husband and wife. Remah Yoreh Deah 183:1; see Shiurei Shevet HaLeivi 183:7. The second law, called , prohibits causing oneself to have inappropriate sexual thoughts. Feinstein prohibits such acts as hugging, kissing, and holding hands. With regard to shaking hands, see below.
Like most laws, these prohibitions are waived to save a person who is in life-threatening danger, e.g. for a man to save a woman from drowning.Talmud Bavli Sotah 21b, stating that a man who does not save a woman from drowning is a Chasid Shoteh (so to speak, a “pious fool”), cited at In such cases, the prohibitions are waived even if the male rescuer is certain that he will experience improper thoughts ().Igros Moshe, Even HaEzer 1:Q56, page 143, 2nd column, 1st full paragraph. Free full text is available at HebrewBooks.org. Furthermore, medical practitioners and other professionals such as hairdressers may touch members of the opposite sex in the course of their professional practice.Audio responsa from Rabbi Zev Leff; see Halichos Bas Yisrael vol. 1 p.p 106-108.
Shaking hands Whether halacha permits a man to shake a woman's hand (or vice versa) is a matter of dispute. Opinions range from saying that it is prohibited for a man to return a woman's handshake even if doing so would embarrass him or her, to saying that returning a handshake is permissible to avoid embarrassment but not otherwise, to saying that handshaking is entirely permissible.
Some authorities prohibit returning a handshake, even to avoid embarrassing the other person. These include the Chazon Ish,see also Kreina D'igrsa 1:162; Moadim Uzmanim Vol. 4, section 316 n.1 (p.p. 130-131); . Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky,Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky Letters of Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky - The Steipler (1899-1985). 3 vols Karyana D’Igarata 1:162-163 Moshe Stern,Moshe Stern of Debrycin (1914-1997), "The Debretziner Rav" Be’er Moshe 4:Q130 Yitzchak Abadi,Rabbi Yitzchak Abadi, Lakewood, NJ/Har Nof, Jerusalem. As quoted by his son. See and Sefer Hasidim (who prohibits even when wearing gloves), and Yosef Hayyim.Yosef Hayyim of Baghdad, author of Ben Ish Hai. Od Yosef Chai, Parshat Shofetim n. 22
Rabbi Feinstein gives the benefit of the doubt to those who return a handshake, stating that they apparently hold that doing so is not (), but concludes that such leniency is difficult to rely upon.R' Feinstein Igros Moshe 1959 Even HaEzer 1:Q56 (last paragraph); Even HaEzer 4:Q32, paragraph #9. For a translation of R' Moshe's three Teshuvos (responsa) on men shaking hands with women, see Although Feinstein did not address the mitigating factor of preventing the other person from being embarrassed, and fell short of stating outright that returning a handshake is forbidden, it is commonly assumed that R' Moshe prohibits returning a handshake even to avoid embarrassing the other person. One publication states this in very strong terms.Nine to Five - A Guide to Modest Conduct for Today's Workplace by Rav Shmuel Neiman, p.14 (Safra 2001) ("[i]t has been rumored that Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, zt"l, ruled that it is permissible for men and women to shake hands. Nothing could be further from the truth! In his responsa, he agonized over this unacceptable practice and repeatedly stated that it is forbidden and infringes on giluy arayos" (emphasis in original)). This book has been criticized as containing many Chumros (stringencies not required by Halacha) that, while perhaps practiced in certain insular communities, are unrealistic to impose on all Frum (Orthodox) Jews in today's workplace; this opinion is shared by Rav Yehuda Henkin in the October 4, 2002 edition of Hatzofeh. See . Cf. Rifka Schonfeld (March 2008): What Do I Say? What Should I Do? Challenges for the Ben Torah and Bas Yisroel in the Workplace, The Jewish Observer, p.17 (stating that there are "a number of excellent publications [about workplace interactions between men and women]", and that she recommends, in particular, Rabbi Neiman's Nine to Five - A Guide to Modest Conduct for Today's Workplace). Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky has also suggested that there may be room to be lenient in this situation.Emes L'Yaakov on Tur and Shulchan Aruch, p. 405 n.4 (translated from the original Hebrew: "Regarding returning a handshake to women when they extend their hand first in greeting, not in an affectionate manner, this is a very serious question and it is difficult to be lenient. However, in circumstances where the woman may come to be embarrassed, perhaps one could consider being lenient. This requires further study").